but I do not know who and where you are........... <
">
You can call me Noi! This blog consists of my thoughts. I am just a simple person with BIG dreams! Like the charcoal, hot pressure and extreme heat must be present in order to create a Diamond. I am in the exact same process.
I'm With Stupid / Superman Impersonator A Growing Trend? / Thank you. What A Pleasant Suprise / Speaking Right / Everyday Stuffs /
Receiving and Giving Compliments / Sunday, February 26, 2006 @ 2:23 PM
I have been wanting to write about this for ages but I always get distracted by other things to write about when I sit in front of the computer. When I first started my own business, there were a lot of things I had to relearn and a lot of things I had to unlearn. Relearning was not a problem for me. Its the unlearning part that was not easy. And I am still in my twenties! If I thought it was difficult, I am sure those older than me would feel more difficult to change. We were all brought up with a different set of rules and to change after living the rules is not going to be easy at all -- even when we know that it is for the better.
Like I mentioned in my previous post entry, I grew up in a family that rarely ever give compliments. I remember once, in primary 4, I rushed back home with the report book in my hand to show to my mum that I was 2nd in class ranking. I was so excited because I thought there were so many other students smarter than me. The moment I reached the gate of my house, I remember shouting from the locked gate, "Ma! I am 2nd in class!!"
"Thats good." was the only thing I heard. There was simply no excitement at all!
No..congrats..no 'u did a great job'. Of course I was dissapointed. I didnt know it wasnt a big deal to adults that I almost top the class. It was a big deal for me at that time.
What I am trying to say is that what we say to people will have an effect on people. So the question is now, do you want your effect on others to be positive or negative? Most of the time when we complain about something or someone, we indirectly affects the person we are talking to with negativity. I learn today, that if you have nothing positive to say, it is better to just keep quiet. Some of you may say that there is nothing to talk about when we cant talk bad about others. Well, if you really feel that way, I highly recommended you go to the bookstore and get a few books of 'How to start a conversation' You can treat it as an investment for your own personal development.
For the first few functions I attended, I was a bit lost. I didnt know how what to say, who I should start talking to, there are so many people talking away. They seem to enjoy to talking to each other so I reckon there isnt any negativity sharing at that time. There were a few people who didnt have to say anything, they just greeted me with a big smile and hug (of course, ladies only) and that alone was enough to make me feel welcome and less uncomfortable. I am so thankful for their wonderful act and presence.
It took me a few months to realise that everytime I was talking to someone, they never fail to give a compliment. Some examples are:
1. Where did you buy your dress? Its unique.
2. This colour outfit / lipstick / eyeshadow looks good on you.
3. Nice shoes / bag.
4. You are a great leader.
5. Hello jambu, beautiful.
6. Did you lose weight? (my personal favourite obviously, hahahaha)
At first I was a little uncomfortable because I didnt know how to react but blush away. Nobody in my entire life until now, has anybody ever called me 'jambu'. Ever...until now. In fact I was convinced that I was the ugly duckling as there were a lot of name callings when I was growing up. I hated it, but sadly I have gotten used to it ..until now. I wasnt used to people saying good things about me. Then I went through the rejection process. When somebody compliments, I would say * 'no lah', 'paiseh'. Then I realise that even though the compliments made me uncomfortable, they made me feel good. And thats the whole point of being at functions like this. You will feel good after the meeting even if you have been through a rough day.
I also discovered that only people who are comfortable with who they are, are the ones giving away all the compliments to others. They have mastered the technique of finding a positive quality in each individual and emphasizing and complimenting on that alone. This is rare in the conventional world where people only look for the bad in others and then choose to discuss about it with other individuals.
Now, I have made it a point to compliment someone at least once a day. The more the better of course. You can do it too. It will make you feel better, I promise. There is nothing better than making someone feel better with your words. There is nothing more motivating than to know that I am changing the world into a more positive place, one person at a time.
Wish me all the best for my job interview tommorrow!!
Meanings of words for those who dont understand:
jambu: beautiful
paiseh: embarrassed / embarassing
*lah : the phrase that singaporeans put at the end of a sentence. This is the result of a multi racial society. We add words and flavour to ruin each others beautiful languange. This is what makes us so united as singaporeans.
See more Motivation Posters at www.motivationposters.com/free
I have been wanting to write about this for ages but I always get distracted by other things to write about when I sit in front of the computer. When I first started my own business, there were a lot of things I had to relearn and a lot of things I had to unlearn. Relearning was not a problem for me. Its the unlearning part that was not easy. And I am still in my twenties! If I thought it was difficult, I am sure those older than me would feel more difficult to change. We were all brought up with a different set of rules and to change after living the rules is not going to be easy at all -- even when we know that it is for the better.
Like I mentioned in my previous post entry, I grew up in a family that rarely ever give compliments. I remember once, in primary 4, I rushed back home with the report book in my hand to show to my mum that I was 2nd in class ranking. I was so excited because I thought there were so many other students smarter than me. The moment I reached the gate of my house, I remember shouting from the locked gate, "Ma! I am 2nd in class!!"
"Thats good." was the only thing I heard. There was simply no excitement at all!
No..congrats..no 'u did a great job'. Of course I was dissapointed. I didnt know it wasnt a big deal to adults that I almost top the class. It was a big deal for me at that time.
What I am trying to say is that what we say to people will have an effect on people. So the question is now, do you want your effect on others to be positive or negative? Most of the time when we complain about something or someone, we indirectly affects the person we are talking to with negativity. I learn today, that if you have nothing positive to say, it is better to just keep quiet. Some of you may say that there is nothing to talk about when we cant talk bad about others. Well, if you really feel that way, I highly recommended you go to the bookstore and get a few books of 'How to start a conversation' You can treat it as an investment for your own personal development.
For the first few functions I attended, I was a bit lost. I didnt know how what to say, who I should start talking to, there are so many people talking away. They seem to enjoy to talking to each other so I reckon there isnt any negativity sharing at that time. There were a few people who didnt have to say anything, they just greeted me with a big smile and hug (of course, ladies only) and that alone was enough to make me feel welcome and less uncomfortable. I am so thankful for their wonderful act and presence.
It took me a few months to realise that everytime I was talking to someone, they never fail to give a compliment. Some examples are:
1. Where did you buy your dress? Its unique.
2. This colour outfit / lipstick / eyeshadow looks good on you.
3. Nice shoes / bag.
4. You are a great leader.
5. Hello jambu, beautiful.
6. Did you lose weight? (my personal favourite obviously, hahahaha)
At first I was a little uncomfortable because I didnt know how to react but blush away. Nobody in my entire life until now, has anybody ever called me 'jambu'. Ever...until now. In fact I was convinced that I was the ugly duckling as there were a lot of name callings when I was growing up. I hated it, but sadly I have gotten used to it ..until now. I wasnt used to people saying good things about me. Then I went through the rejection process. When somebody compliments, I would say * 'no lah', 'paiseh'. Then I realise that even though the compliments made me uncomfortable, they made me feel good. And thats the whole point of being at functions like this. You will feel good after the meeting even if you have been through a rough day.
I also discovered that only people who are comfortable with who they are, are the ones giving away all the compliments to others. They have mastered the technique of finding a positive quality in each individual and emphasizing and complimenting on that alone. This is rare in the conventional world where people only look for the bad in others and then choose to discuss about it with other individuals.
Now, I have made it a point to compliment someone at least once a day. The more the better of course. You can do it too. It will make you feel better, I promise. There is nothing better than making someone feel better with your words. There is nothing more motivating than to know that I am changing the world into a more positive place, one person at a time.
Wish me all the best for my job interview tommorrow!!
Meanings of words for those who dont understand:
jambu: beautiful
paiseh: embarrassed / embarassing
*lah : the phrase that singaporeans put at the end of a sentence. This is the result of a multi racial society. We add words and flavour to ruin each others beautiful languange. This is what makes us so united as singaporeans.
See more Motivation Posters at www.motivationposters.com/free
