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You can call me Noi! This blog consists of my thoughts. I am just a simple person with BIG dreams! Like the charcoal, hot pressure and extreme heat must be present in order to create a Diamond. I am in the exact same process.
Mad About Cats / What Do You Really Want? / Tagged! / A Tribute To My Landlords / Another death. Another sign for me? / Receiving and Giving Compliments / I'm With Stupid / Superman Impersonator A Growing Trend? / Thank you. What A Pleasant Suprise / Speaking Right /
I learned a new formula on Wednesday's open meeting. The training was done by the great Nawal and Ritu and there's always that 1% extra that makes me realise that I do not know everything and there's a lot more things to learn.
rules & regulations - relationship = resentment + rebellion
This is exactly what is happening at my workplace. Ok, for most workplace for that matter. Lets face it, whether we hate or love the rules, they are here to stay. Its not gonna change ever. Rules are here to keep people from going astray. But what is it that make people stay at a workplace for long, is the relationship he/she has with the people at the workplace...this includes the boss.
Yesterday, for the first time in months, my big evil boss decides to have meeting with the staff at the student care centre. I believe she only does this, when something bad happens, there's bad news to be delivered, bad things..you get the idea. So meeting was supposed to start at 3, as usual she was late. My shift ends at 4 pm by the way. Furthermore I had to rush off to an appoinment at the other end of the city.
I was forced to sit next to her. Yucks! But then again, I thought it wasnt as bad as sitting directly in front of her (no offence, haha). I could still make funny faces at her when she's not looking. So there she goes on and on and on about restructuring of programmes, enrolment of students. I just couldnt help closing my eyes a couple of times as I was so darn sleepy. In a nutshell, she was expecting us to think about new ideas to run the centre as a value added. Honestly, I have so many ideas in my head after attending courses. In the past, when we had a good idea, after discussing with my fellow colleagues, if its agreeable, we would go ahead and implement the action plan. But what happen was, everytime we implemented a good idea, or a good set up or a good programme, she would not acknowledge our hard work and effort. Instead, she will somehow find the little negative things and expand it soo big until it becomes a really big issue. Therefore, now, we have grown into slackers. Whether we do great things or bad things, she is still going to find bad things to say about us, so I thought we might as well do the bad slacker things she says we do. I cant help but feel if she is a little bit nicer to people, this centre can excel in more ways than one. Even this devil lady cartoon looks nicer than her, even with the horn in her head.
I just lose the motivation to perform like I did before. I do realise that its not a good thing to be like this but 
when I lose hope in something, its not easy to gain back the enthusiasm. Everything seems tainted now and I just cant bring myself to act as if everythings ok and going well. I cant even bring myself to fake it so I am sorry that I have turned into such a slacker. I have never, not excel in any job that I do so am just relying on the hope and faith that God has a better plan for me in the future.
I have learned that the only way to actually FEEL successful in life if to really stop, acknowledge and celebrate our accomplishments, even the little ones. Therefore, I am set to meet my goals this time and I am going to do whatever it takes to succeed. There is just no turning back now.
